“If you were to go on the ultimate decadent vacation, where would that be?”

Bummer.  I don’t go on decadent vacations. 

Nonetheless, that’s the question and I have to get up and give an “impromptu” speech on. 

It’s been said that public speaking is many people’s greatest fear.  That’s why there is Toastmasters. 

“I joined because I was very shy,” says Diane Jorgensen, President of Speak Up and Out Toastmasters, as we chat after the meeting.  Ten years ago, Jorgensen was uncomfortable speaking one-on-one, in small groups, and in public speaking. Then she got a job promotion and decided it was time to make a change, so she joined a different, non-GLBT, toastmaster’s chapter where she lived in Greater Minnesota.  “I felt more comfortable within six months.”

That’s what Toastmaster’s is all about.  Since 1924 Toastmaster’s has helped people learn how to be more effective speakers and to not turn into a quivering mass doing it. 

Every Tuesday the group meets at Vera’s, a GLBT coffeehouse near Lyndale and Lake in South Minneapolis. On this night four men and six women meet in the side room, in what was not long ago the smoking area (evidence of which is still in the air). 

Mary Palmer has been a long-time leader for Speak Up and OUT.  In 1988 she was working in downtown Minneapolis when she decided she’d give Toastmasters a try.  She attended her first meeting, a non-GLBT group, in the Oak Room at Dayton’s. She was one of two women the group, the rest were men with suits and “polished shoes.” 

There is a real benefit in Toastmasters from a business standpoint.  Besides speaking skills, Toastmasters helps develop leadership through officer positions, learning how to run a meeting, and assuming various roles, such as the Toastmaster, the Grammarian, Timer, Evaluator, and Table Topic’s Master. 

Table Topics is where I’m on the spot for a vacation destination.  This is an exercise where the questions are posed to the attendees who stand up and gives a one to two minute impromptu speech.  I stammer, “Toastmasters, Madam Table Topics Master, and honored guests.” They laugh, since I’m the only “honored guest.”  I try to act like I intended it to be a joke.

This is a group of people who feel connected to each other.  Jorgensen agrees: “a lot of people join Speak Up and Out for community.”  Darr, who has been coming for over 12 years, says he comes for the “camaraderie.”  He tells me he’s met many friends here. He says “It’s a form of group therapy.”  Milt agrees, “I haven’t missed more than two or three meetings in three years.”  Palmer says, “I’ve met all these people throughout the years.  You can learn so much about people, in a way you can’t in many other places.”

Prior to the Table Topics, there was one scheduled speaker this night, who happened to be Jorgensen.  The title of her speech was, “The Weekend the Lilacs Were In Full Bloom,” and is the story about the birth of her new baby. She and her partner have been together for three years, having met at Toastmasters.  After the group she tells me that she joined Speak Up and Out after moving to Minneapolis.  “I was new to the area and didn’t have any friends here.  I certainly had little connection to the GLBT community here.”   

The GLBT piece is important.  Indeed, the group began in 1985 at the Pride Festival, and Jorgensen says she thinks there are only two other such groups in the country. Nancy, the evening’s Evaluator, sees the group as an important asset to the GLBT community.  “I really do believe the more lesbian and gay people feel comfortable speaking at their job, with their families, and at home, the better.  It’s a political thing, in a way.” 

Palmer remembers one man talking about how for a Table Topic as a member of another chapter, “He was asked to describe his ideal woman.”  She adds, “Here you don’t have to watch your pronouns.”

Now I’m on the spot, and the clock’s ticking.  I stumble around and talk about hiking.  I talk about the dessert.  I talk about how at 47 for me decadence is less about luxury and more about feeling centered, connected.  I bumble and “ah” my way through and finish at a 1:25.  I’m glad to sit back down, but I’m also glad I did it. 

And I’m glad to have come.  This Toastmasters chapter prides itself on its hospitality, and everyone I talk to uses words like “support,” “connection,” and “friendship.”  I see it as a place to be out: out of the closet (if maybe for some just for the hour), out in the community, and out with friends.

Up and Out Toastmaster’s meets Tuesdays at 6:30 at Vera’s, 2901 Lyndale Avenue South.  Visitors are welcome.  For more information, visit www.speakupandout.org.